Who and I? Life’s Most Defining Question 

Have you ever looked in the mirror and stopped yourself to stare? Who is that person staring back? Do you recognize her or him? You may even ask yourself out loud, “Who am I?” “Who have I become?” You stare at yourself with a blank, vague, emotionless expression and wonder where your life went wrong. You may wonder what state it is in, what purpose it has, and where it is headed. What happened to your dreams? You once had desires and goals. Now you are just going through the motions of everyday life.  

At work, you are just punching in and punching out. You are watching the clock and begging for someone to punch you in the face. You can’t wait for lunch so you can escape that God-awful place and you dread going back, so you can’t really even enjoy your lunch. You may even end up returning a few minutes late because you have procrastinated so long about your forced reappearance. You plop back down in your chair and pout a little. You begin to daydream about running away or adding some Jameson to your coffee cup so you can just get through the rest of the day with a little less pain. You may even ridicule your officemates because you despise their cheerfulness. The opposite sex makes you sick. They walk around boasting their egotistical power-tripping b.s. Whatever… 

You may even dread going home. You know only work is waiting for there. Dishes, laundry, lawn work, dinner, etc… Screaming, bratty, ungrateful children or teenagers might be waiting for you there. Your nagging spouse is there to get on your case about the latest gripe. You don’t know where you want to go. Your friends suck too. You don’t really have any. Your family will just judge you anyway. You don’t need that kind of grief right now. You have enough on your plate. You don’t want to hear it. You don’t know where you belong. You don’t feel like you belong anywhere. You just feel numb or neutral. You may even feel frustrated and angry. You may feel sad and hopeless. You may be jealous of other people’s lives. You may just feel lost.  

How did this happen? How did you get here? What led up to this point? You try to make sense of it, but all you get is scrambled eggs. It’s like trying to solve one of those genius calculus problems that make you want to bang your head against the wall (unless you’re a genius of course). You were fun once. You were adventurous. You had a vision. People respected you and looked up to you. You had confidence. What changed? It makes your head hurt to think about it. It’s too exhausting. You’ve had enough work for one day.  

You essentially give up and just accept that this is the way life is. “No, this can’t be the way it is.” “Why is it this way?” You tell yourself that this must be the way that it is for everyone and that you are just getting on in life and this is the path. This is married with children life. The old person’s life. This is the single life. Whatever your situation is. But, there are other people your age that look like they are enjoying life. Why can’t you? “Why is my life dull?” “Why is my life more difficult than everyone else’s?” 

If you don’t like the way things are going, you must change something you are doing. 

I have asked myself this question and a few of the others at one point in my life. Your life isn’t necessarily more difficult than everyone else’s. You’ve lost yourself. You’ve lost perspective. You’ve changed gears. The most important thing you can do is to realize that you have slowly fallen into this soul-sucking place and that you need to get yourself OUT!!! Time is of the essence here.

Your life, your dreams, and the relationships that you have with the people in your life are all on the line. The longer you take to work through this, the more consequences there will be. The quicker you take action, the more effective and faster the results will be. ?  

My friend, first and foremost please know… you are not alone in this if it is where you are now. Many people suffer in silence every day not knowing what to do with their lives, not reaching out, not researching for ways to better their situation. The important thing is that you do something about it. I have a quote of my own, “If you don’t like the way things are going, you must change something you are doing.” I raised my three sons telling them this. I quickly learned that I too could live my life from these terms. I’ve always tried to live by this and remind myself of it when I don’t like the way things are playing out.  

Life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. 

Jim Rohn 

Not really sure if you are lost/need some proof? 

That’s alright. Here’s a few things that might chime in with you. 

1. You loathe yourself – You constantly put yourself down. You’re never good enough. You believe the negativity that society feeds you. Your self-confidence has taken a nosedive at some point. You have no self-worth. You think you’re unattractive, incapable, and unable to succeed.

2 . You’re a couch potato – Sure… sometimes that’s alright. We all need the occasional veg out, but if you NEVER do any type of physical activity it could mean something deeper. Sometimes this can be a phase, but if you literally never get out of bed or off the couch except for work or school, you have no motivation to do anything. This suggests that you no longer care about your appearance or your health and that is, indeed an important subject. 

3. You don’t keep in touch with family or friends – Some of us don’t have a lot of friends (we choose not to). Some of us have families that are not supportive or have just flat-out turned their backs on us, sadly. However, if you don’t have someone that you reach out to and talk to or shoot the breeze with at least occasionally, you could be lost at sea.
4. You’re moods change abruptly – You may write this off as depression or something else, but let’s be honest… is that what it really is? Or, are you just being an asshole? Often, the way we “see a situation” is what we believe, therefore “seeing is believing”. Just as we would all believe a monkey could talk if we saw it. What is the situation really? Are you judging it strictly by your emotions?

https://open.spotify.com/track/1y4eb6hmAvsqlDOl3fx9kk?si=Dr5mH2CQS2ux2RVkrlXh0g  

5. You have no vision – This is a big one. You don’t see where your life is going. You don’t see yourself as being on a journey. You’re not establishing a legacy to leave behind. Dreams are a myth to you.
6. Happiness is a myth -It is only found in books and movies. It is not something for you
7. The alarm clock sucks – One of the worst things is waking up to your life. You would literally be unconsciously in the dream world. Hey, man… I get it. I’ve been there! I’ve walked in those shoes. The shoes of zombie world is where all you want to do is go back to sleep and not live in the real world where you have to face reality.
8. Your favorite hobby is drinking or drugs – Hey, I’m not here to judge. I have a glass (or two) of wine most nights. But, if this is more than that,ie. drinking at 10 am, living for the drink, drugs, doing it to be numb, escape life, you know the drill. It can be dangerous. Seek help. It can go from de-stress to dangerous real quick. I know… I come from a family of alcoholics and I watch myself closely to keep a good self-awareness on my little wine appreciation. ??
9. You have no goals – If you have no goals and nothing to work for. This is also because you hold yourself accountable to your own standards, which are no goals or achievements.
10. You don’t respect anyone – I’ll say it again, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS! It’s literally why we’re here. It’s the foundation of everything. It’s what this site, this business, and my coaching are built on. Without other beings, we are NOTHING! If you don’t respect other people, the earth, animals, or whatever/whoever else, you truly have no respect for yourself.
11. Love is superstition – Love is real. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it. I’ve been broken by it. I’m now living the true meaning of it. When you have truly given up on love, you are truly hopeless on life.
12. You have a passive attitude – This is huge! If this doesn’t slap you in the face, I don’t know what will. You have become lazy. You don’t care what happens anymore. You take the easy way out. You put forth the least amount of effort to get by at work, at home, in your relationship, and with your kids. You don’t cook anymore, you don’t have meaningful discussions with your spouse/GF/BF, you don’t spend quality time with your kids anymore, you don’t go out with friends, you don’t kiss your guy/girl when they come home, you’ve given up on love, you hate your job, but won’t do anything about it, and never change out of your pajamas unless you have to go to work! I could go on, but you get my drift.

There are things you can do to find yourself. However, like anything else… it does not happen overnight. It is a process. I am putting together a course to empower individuals to take back their lives. This is for individuals who are sick of watching life pass them by.  

Are you lost? 

Are you confused?  

Do you fail to recognize that person in the mirror? 

Have you lost passion for life? 

Is love non-existent to you?  

Are you numb? 

Are you overwhelmed? 

Have you given up? 

There is hope. There is help. You are more powerful than you think. But, it is up to you to take the first step… 

If any of this blog spoke to your heartstrings, you may be a good fit for this course and/or coaching.