Does this look like you? We laugh, but let’s be honest… how many times do we feel like not coming home? How many days do you wake up and not want to go to work? There are instances when I just want to get in the car and drive… and KEEP driving! 

First let’s talk about how this stuff surfaces. 

STRESS 

Whether it’s the demands of your job, your boss, your family, or your relationship, stress can creep in at the most unexpected of times. We think we have it totally under control and then – BAM! Big baby bawl fest or maybe you just go numb and get quiet. Maybe you get super angry and lose your mind! Maybe it’s different every time. It could be dependent on a number of things; the time in your life, hormones, your age, where you are financially, emotionally, or physically. A big part of how these things affect you is how people in your life are treating you. Another big surprise… people can be the biggest turd sandwiches. Often, these people are the closest to us which is hurtful and confusing.  

The people we treat the best often take advantage of us the most, yet we put up with their shit and keep doing things for them. Why? This probably means we’re nice people and we love them. Should we continue to put up with their ridiculousness? NO!!!  

Evaluate your life. Take a look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you look stressed? Sad? Angry? Worn out? We tend to “wear” these emotions. Do people tell you that you look tired? Do people ask you if you’re okay? Are you sick? These are pretty good indicators that you are NOT taking good care of yourself and it is time to remedy that right now. 

THE INABILITY TO SAY NO 

Everyone wants a piece of your time. You say yes to everyone because you’re the “nice person”. You’re the good employee, the good friend, the mom, the dad, the girl, the guy, and the person that ALWAYS says YES! It’s difficult to say no when you’ve always said yes. Sometimes we say yes before we even think about ourselves or our own plans. We want to please other people and “help them out”. Meanwhile, we have put yet another demand on our life and our own schedule, in turn putting more stress on our emotional and physical well-being. Let me fill you in on something… It’s OKAY to say no! That person will survive without your help. They might not like it, but they will figure it out and they will usually still like you. If they don’t, they probably weren’t really your friend in the first place. You can’t do everything or you WILL suffer the consequences. Your body and mind will perish. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but in time you will pay. Is it worth that kind of punishment? Stop putting your life on hold for other people! 

Guess who can learn the meaning of no? Your kids, your friends, your co-workers, and your significant other. There are other people in the world other than you. Give yourself a break and JUST SAY NO!!! You’re busy, you have an appointment… with YOURSELF! Even if you’re not busy, you are. This is what you tell people in case you are not catching on here. Start making more time for yourself. This is imperative for your health physically and mentally. 

Too Many Demands  

Are you doing that? All of it? STOP IT!! Who said you have to do it all? You don’t. You can’t. It’s not fair and it’s not right, especially if there is more than one of you. If there is more than one person in your household and you are doing all of the laundry, cooking, bills, yard work, cleaning, etc… It’s time for a change. Just say those last two sentences out loud right now. Listen to how preposterous that sounds! The same goes for your workplace and any other relationships that require demands of you. Don’t volunteer for everything. Share the load.  

If there is more than one person in your household and you are doing all of the laundry, cooking, bills, yard work, cleaning, etc… It’s TIME for a change. 

SELFLESSNESS 

There is such a thing as being too selfless. Being more selfish is a good thing! Most of the time, no one is going to say, “Hey, you should do something for yourself”, or “Hey, let me do that for you while you rest or go get a massage”. Most of the time in life, if we want something we have to take it. This is no different. We always wish things would change or be different, but there is not going to be a fairy godmother that swings in to save us or some magic red-headed dude in green tights and a pixie hat to take us to Neverland (I wish). We have to make these things happen for ourselves and it’s not usually easy. If we want to lead successful lives, we first have to be mentally successful. 

Now let’s get to the things that can help us take better care of ourselves! 

There are six key tools for a healthy self-relationships and you can get a free download of them here! 

6 Tools For A Healthy Self-Relationship 

The most crucial aspect is to focus on making time for yourself consistently. The tools in the download above are extremely helpful and can be printed out and kept somewhere physically or even as a download or wallpaper on your phone to serve as a reminder to take care of yourself FIRST! If you focus each day centered around doing at least one thing for yourself (even if it’s just for fifteen minutes), you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much more peaceful your day can and WILL be. 

Stop putting your life on hold for other people! 

Take care of yourself  

According to the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), headaches, low energy, general aching, muscle tension, IBS, and poor sleep are just a few of the health side effects that go hand in hand with poor self-care. They go on to mention recharging yourself by means of daily exercise, healthy eating, good sleep habits, meditation and the avoidance of drugs and alcohol are a few key measures to follow. 

We can not attempt to take care of anyone else well if we do not first take care of ourselves. What good are we to other people if we run ourselves ragged to the point that there is nothing left? How can we form healthy relationships if we do not have one with ourselves? Self-care is the foundation of all relationships. Evaluate your life. Take a look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you look stressed? Sad? Angry? Worn out? We tend to “wear” these emotions. Do people tell you that you look tired? Do people ask you if you’re okay? Are you sick? These are pretty good indicators that you are NOT taking good care of yourself and it is time to remedy that right now. 

We cannot attempt to take care of anyone else well if we do not first take care of ourselves. 

If we want to lead successful lives, we first have to be mentally successful. 

#selfcare #healthyrelationshipsstartwithyou #takecare #health #longevity