In these times, I get the luxury (or maybe the curse) to do even more deep soul digging than usual which may and probably does drive some people that I know nuts! However, I am often left alone with my thoughts which can be scary, but also a real eye-opener. My mind, after all, is a very quirky, interesting, inquisitive, and sometimes dangerous place. I know that not everyone is the same. Some people will understand what I am speaking of and some people might think it’s pure nonsense. I get both sides. Some people, sadly, don’t even understand the real meaning of optimism. 

The deep soul digging topic afront my mind lately is interpersonal communication. So many relationships are built on falseness and pretending. Why are we okay with this? Why can’t we just be ourselves? Shouldn’t people love us as we are? Why can’t we say what is on our mind without being terrified of the repercussions? I often find myself searching for “the correct answer or behavior” that the other person desires in fear of rejection, disappointment, confrontation, or even verbal crucifixion for my opinion or general conversation. 

These times often leave me thinking, (when I do choose to say what is on my mind)… “Is this person even listening? Do they really care what I have to say? Are you one of these individuals? Are you on the other side? In between? There are so many different categories I can put this in. Oooh! This will be so much fun! 

1. The Nodder~

“Yeah… I totally get ya. I hate when people do that.” … (Has no earthly idea… just nodding and looking for any excuse to leave the conversation). Good intentions, but nevertheless… 

2. The Phone Junkie~

You’re pouring your heart out about something really deep or important and the receiver is doing the sly left-handed text under the table, or quick Facebook “like” because they are ADDICTED. They’re doing the occasional, “hahaha”, or “Mhm”. Really bruh? While you’re at it, could you just go ahead and club me in the face with your phone? Because that’s about how important this conversation feels. You will NEVER win with this person because the phone will ALWAYS be #1. 

3. The ADHD~

I can’t talk crap on this one because I can relate. However, I will be upfront and honest with you. I will ask you to repeat yourself if I missed an important detail as well as ask you to slap me in the face for my douchebaginess. Yes, I made that word. You’re welcome. 

4. The Asshole~

This person just doesn’t give a damn about you or anything you could care about at all and they make it blatantly obvious. Let’s be honest… they don’t care about anyone. How could you ever carry on a conversation with this person? You might be able to have a fun night out with this twat, but you will never be best mates or soul mates. They only care about themselves. You can’t compete with this, so say goodbye or keep it on a long leash. 

5. The Liar~

You can’t even begin a conversation with this person because they will always have a better one – why? It’s made up! They always have an excuse. Why they can’t meet up, why they can’t help you move (friend), why they didn’t get you anything for your birthday (significant other), why they were talking smack!!! They lie so well sometimes they might actually have you believe their story. You always find yourself thinking, “Hmm… something just seems sketchy about this situation/story”. There’s a reason for that feeling. Stuff it or let it surface. There’s a reason it’s there. It’s called intuition and you ALWAYS end up getting hurt, so say goodbye or keep your distance. 

6. The Taker~

Yup, you guessed it… All they do is take. You find yourself always giving but never receiving. You always listen to them talk, but they never listen to you. Do they EVER ask about you or the things that are important in your life? You try so hard to make the relationship work because you want it so bad. Maybe they remind you of a past relationship/friendship or you just really like them. So, you find yourself bending till you break. Take a step back my friend. What is really happening here? 

7. The Chronic Interrupter~

They love to hear themselves talk. They don’t even need to talk unless someone else begins to talk. Then, all of a sudden they have an urgent need to butt in like they had no clue anyone else was speaking. SO rude. You try again to speak, but nope… interrupted again. You try thrice… DENIED!!! Good luck with your conversing with this poor soul. Their topic is obviously WAY more important. 

8. The Judge, Jury & Executioner~

This personal listens intently to what you have to say. However, they are very judgemental. You might want to be selective with what you share with this individual. You drink too much, you eat too much, you’re nuts, you’re melodramatic, you’re emo, you wear too much black, you wear too much makeup, you look like crap, you don’t make enough money. And, then there’s another side… You’re not a good mom/dad. You just need to lose weight, get a divorce, get re-married, have more friends, eat more food, exercise more, get a better job, and don’t have so many dogs. The dog comment alone probably got this person exed. 

Is it you? Are you this person #1-#8? Well, that’s okay if you choose to change it. At least you have been able to identify it. Maybe you’re only this way sometimes. Maybe you’re a combo. The question is… are you man/woman enough to do something about it and not let it harm your relationships for the rest of your life? Be a better friend, husband, wife, parent, sibling, child, co-worker, acquaintance, or bartender. Yes… bartender. You have no idea of the impact of communication on people in your life. Not just your very close circle (especially that), but all people you commune with. 

#bettercommunication #betterrelationtionships #dontsettle #youdeservehappiness